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Have you ever been told to “just relax” when you can’t seem to calm down from the day? What can sound so easy doesn’t always seem to hold true in everyday life. If we just tried harder, meditated more, or “managed stress better,” we’d finally reach a state of peace. Yet for those living in a chronically stressed state, relaxation is often not a matter of mindset at all, but a reflection of nervous system dysregulation. It’s a nervous system problem, a physiological state of being that takes time to unwind.
When the body spends weeks, months, or years in survival mode, the sympathetic nervous system can remain stuck in an ongoing stress response. Known as nervous system dysregulation, this can leave people feeling wired, exhausted, anxious, reactive, emotionally overwhelmed, or disconnected from daily life, even when they desperately crave it. Understanding stress through the lens of physiology rather than self-blame changes the conversation entirely. So take a deep breath, and find a cozy spot to digest this article, as it reveals the current science behind a dysregulated nervous system, how to return to safety through nervous system regulation practices rooted in physiology and breathwork, and ways you can integrate nervous system retraining as a daily practice today.
The nervous system consists of a complex web of nerves, including the central nervous system, peripheral nervous system, and autonomic nervous system, that work closely with the endocrine system, the brain, and the rest of the body. When life feels overwhelmingly busy, uncertain, or emotionally demanding, the body can habitually wire itself to always respond to perceived threats and ongoing stressors. Thus, “survival mode” becomes your new normal to the point where stillness and rest-and-digest states begin to feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
For many people, slowing down doesn’t immediately create a peaceful state; it can instead lead to restlessness, racing thoughts, muscle tension, an increased heart rate, and physical symptoms of chronic stress. It’s not because you’re “bad at relaxing,” but more that your nervous system may not find relaxation safe anymore. The encouraging part is that this wiring isn’t fixed; it can be rewired through repeated experiences.
Having your nervous system stuck in the fight or flight setting comes with a variety of physiological and psychological symptoms. Some of which include:
Individual stressors or even simply experiencing stress are not inherently detrimental. Rather, it is the point at which the build-up of stress exceeds the body’s ability to cope, creating an environment of unhealthy, unsustainable responses.
Imagine having just raced through the airport to catch a flight that leaves in 10 minutes. You sprint as fast as you can with a large suitcase, make it to your seat in the nick of time, and realize your heart is still pounding for many minutes despite being seated. In this moment, your heart is still prepared to keep your body running as fast as it can, for it perceives you may need to sprint again at any moment.
Your nervous system stays on high alert because the parasympathetic recovery system takes longer to catch up after the stress has passed. It’s difficult for anyone to “just relax” because of this same phenomenon. The nervous system often needs time, repetition, and multiple supportive experiences to trust that you are no longer in a cycle of stress responses. Understanding this can help reframe relaxation not as something you should be able to force quickly, but rather a skill the body - and the mind - must gradually relearn.
Time under chronic tension, whether physical, psychological, or both, dysregulates the nervous system. Our bodies relearn safety over time and with discipline, instilling consistent signals of groundedness and calm that speak louder than those of stress. Breathing exercises, calming vibrations, restorative movement, quality sleep, time in nature, and moments of genuine connection (ideally away from a screen) all help communicate to the nervous system that we are no longer in immediate danger. With continued practice, our bodies can shift out of chronic survival mode and move more fluidly between stress and rest. Remember, encountering stress is not inherently bad - it’s the inability to return to rest that causes concern. Thus, nervous system training becomes necessary to encourage our minds and bodies to rebuild flexibility, resilience, and a greater sense of safety from the inside out.
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Guided light, sound, and touch that balance your nervous system through slow, rhythmic breathing. Feel restored calm in just 3 minutes a day.
Preorder yours →Chronic hyperarousal is another term to describe prolonged, heightened sympathetic nervous system responses even after true threats have passed. Understanding the neuroscience behind this process can help explain why chronic stress often feels physical, automatic, and deeply ingrained rather than “all in your head.”
The concept of allostatic load describes the cumulative “wear and tear” on the body that occurs when the nervous system is in overdrive, meaning it is elevated too high for too long. Normally, the sympathetic nervous system response is temporary, as we naturally return to a calm, restful state once danger is no longer present. However, chronic stress - or the allostatic load - contributes to the following changes over time:
Researchers describe this process as stress adaptation, as the body learns to operate in a constant state of readiness and protect. Over time, the sympathetic branch of the nervous system remains more active while parasympathetic activity becomes less accessible. Scientific literature has linked higher allostatic load (a.k.a “allostatic overload”) to reduced heart rate variability (HRV), cardiovascular disease, poor immune function, increased fatigue, and anxiety, reinforcing the idea that chronic stress is a whole-body physiological state shaped by repeated exposure over time.1,2
Neuroception involves interpreting signals such as facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, internal sensations, and environmental context. Similar to a security system, it involves constant scanning for signs of danger. Experiencing repeated threats of danger can make the system overly sensitive, causing alarms to sound even when the environment is no longer truly threatening. When the nervous system perceives safety, it more easily supports social connection, emotional regulation, flexible thinking, digestion, and recovery.
However, when a threat is detected, the autonomic nervous system shifts into protective states such as fight, flight, or shutdown. This explains why someone can logically know they are safe while still physically experiencing anxiety, tension, or difficulty relaxing. It reflects deeply rooted neurophysiological survival mechanisms designed to keep the human body alive, not a failure of willpower.3
More individuals are tracking their heart rate variability (HRV) because it can offer a window into otherwise undetectable moments of elevated stress. Rather than measuring stress itself, HRV reflects the nervous system's flexibility in shifting between activation and recovery. That said, it is important to understand that HRV is simply a marker - not a direct measurement - of your resilience, and interpreting trends over time gives you the best reflection of your autonomic nervous system function.4
Heart rate variability (HRV) measures the small variations in the time between heartbeats, and it is most helpful when viewed as a trend over time rather than focusing on a single number. In simple terms, higher or more stable HRV trends often suggest the body is recovering well and adapting effectively to stress, while consistently lower-than-normal trends may reflect increased stress, poor sleep, illness, overtraining, emotional strain, or inadequate recovery. Since HRV is highly specific to each individual, the goal is not to compare your numbers to someone else’s, but to understand your own baseline and notice patterns so you can better understand the body’s capacity to recover, regulate, and respond resiliently to physical and emotional stressors.
In recent scientific literature, lower heart rate variability has been consistently associated with various manifestations of chronic stress for some individuals.5 For example, a few studies find that some individuals experiencing burnout can demonstrate lower HRV numbers, which may be attributed to the emotional exhaustion, fatigue, and impaired recovery.6 Research on low HRV also focuses on the implications to the cardiovascular system, including elevated inflammatory markers, hypertension, and overall risk of chronic disease.7 Understanding the relationship between chronic stress and changes in HRV may give helpful insight into a person’s stress, sleep, recovery, lifestyle, and overall health. Again, this relationship is highly individualized to within-person trends - not population averages.
There is growing acceptance that the nervous system is capable of change and adaptation, even if it requires unwinding many negative patterns through mindfulness and restorative practices. Importance is placed on the term “practice,” as reaching a new state of resilience and calm takes just as much time - or more - as it did to get to the state of chronic stress. Here are a few of those practices highlighted in the current literature.
Slow, controlled breathing that emphasizes longer exhales and a steady rhythm has been associated with increased parasympathetic activity, improved vagal tone, and greater heart rate variability (HRV).8 One example is a simple box breathing exercise, which involves inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding again for equal counts (i.e., 4 seconds each). Turning our focus back to our breath creates a space of safety, removing us from constant stressors and allowing the brain and body to shift into a more regulated, restorative state.
HRV biofeedback is a strategy that uses real-time data and repeated practice to help regulate your nervous system. One of the most common techniques used is resonance frequency breathing, which involves breathing slowly and rhythmically (typically 4–6 breaths per minute) to help synchronize breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, and autonomic nervous system activity into a more coordinated rhythm, a state known as cardiorespiratory coupling. It’s possible (and often common) to notice improved HRV trends over time; however, this is typically a byproduct of these practices, as the goal is ultimately improved resilience and recovery.
Emerging studies have linked HRV biofeedback with improvements in stress management, anxiety, emotional regulation, sleep, and recovery, supporting the idea that the nervous system can be trained out of hyperarousal.9
Neuroplasticity is the ability of your brain and nervous system to heal, grow, and change as it learns to respond to new experiences, behaviors, thoughts, and movements. Just as chronic stress can instill heightened arousal, engaging in consistent restorative experiences over time can strengthen neural pathways associated with emotional regulation, safety, and recovery.
An example widely studied in the scientific literature is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a form of psychotherapy that helps identify and change unhelpful patterns of thinking, behavior, and emotional responses. Research has found that the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and other forms of neuroplastic conditioning can help to reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and even chronic musculoskeletal pain.10,11
The ability to relax is not simply a reflection of mindset or willpower, but rather the nervous system's resilience in moving between stress and calm. Through neuroplasticity, the nervous system is highly adaptable, and many people can gradually rebuild greater capacity for relaxation over time. Research on resonance-frequency breathing and HRV biofeedback suggests that guided practices, such as using the Ohm Resonance Lamp, may support this process by helping the body and mind move more fluidly from stress to a state of recovery and balance. Ohm aims to help people feel more present, more balanced, and more in sync, from the inside out. What practices have helped you feel more grounded, calm, and restored when stress is at its peak?
Dr. Sarah Zimmer is a physical therapist, clinic founder, and healthcare writer specializing in chronic pain, nervous system health, and accessible wellness education.
Dr. Wiles is a health and performance psychologist specializing in psychophysiology, regulation, and human performance. He serves as Chief Health & Performance Officer at Ohm.
